Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize