are you still at the devil's house?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize