Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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