a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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