He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize