Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
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That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
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I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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