I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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