God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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