They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
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I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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