When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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