Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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