How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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