I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
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I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
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She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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