What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize