On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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