Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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