Moan for me like Helen Keller
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Redeem this text for a blowjob
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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