i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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