Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
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He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
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So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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