I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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