I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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