You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize