And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize