Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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