new low.... made out with someone while peeing
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize