32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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