Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize