so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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