the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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