OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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