Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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