Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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