I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
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You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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