who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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