I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize