he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Randomize