You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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