How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
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did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
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I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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