Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
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Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
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