if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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