I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize