not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
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I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
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