Will you blow on my dice?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
she smelled like a LAN party
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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