the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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