Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize