just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
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If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
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I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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