i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
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What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
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that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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