Yo dont text me then not text me
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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