He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize