she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize